It appears that I am, in fact, not the god of football, I am not all knowing, all seeing, and apparently no longer relevant.
I am truly a great deceiver, but not the greatest deceiver. That honor goes to BYRNES#1, the greatest deceiver of all time.
For those of you who haven't received the email yet, below you will find some excerpts from the final cahpter of The Book of Byrnes that I should have read sooner. It would have saved us all a lot of embarrasment.
I guess all that remains is for all my little duckies to put aside your arrogance and false pride and worship at the throne of Gaffney.Behold, he cometh with clouds; and every eye shall see him, and all kindreds of the earth shall wail because of him. Even so, Amen.
Saying, I am Alpha and Omega, the first and the last: and, What thou seest, write in a book, and send it unto the seven schools which are in Region II; unto Dorman, and unto Wade Hampton, and unto Mauldin, and unto Byrnes, and unto Riverside, and unto Boiling Springs, and unto Spartanburg.
And I turned to see the voice that spake with me. And being turned, I saw seventeen golden candlesticks.
And in the midst of the seventeen candlesticks one like unto the Son of Gaffney, clothed with a brass plate down to the foot, and sixty-one stars about the plate.
The mystery of the sixty-one stars which thou sawest, and the seventeen golden candlesticks. The sixty-one stars are the champions of the sixty-one season: and the seventeen candlesticks which thou sawest are the seventeen championships.
And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Jones, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the football part of the earth, to kill with Shaq, and with Hyleck, and with heavy package, and with the beasts of the football world.
Hear my truth, sing my praises.